I'm Looking Forward to A Quiet Weekend..

I just don't see one in my future. This weekend, I have a holiday party to attend and a family birthday celebration before the remaining holidays come sneaking up on us and 2009 is done and we move to 2010. And within the first few months of the year, the new feline habitat and gathering area will be built at the Row N complex, and by the time that gets done, it's Timbers season again.

 

I love being busy, having things to do and people to see, but right now, I look for a break to take my mind away from the pressures of the day. However, nothing in that arena is easy to digest right now, as the Timbers are dealing with the final moving pieces of the MLS effort while watching the USL potentially implode, the Trail Blazers are alternating between an amazing collection of players or guys that couldn't hit the broad side of a bus, and the Civil War is finally today for the Roses and I still don't care who wins. Seriously. It doesn't matter to me who wins, because either way, the state of Oregon gets some wonderful attention and one of the teams goes to the Rose Bowl.

 

I don't have leanings to either side, and because of the situation, the hype is absolutely epic. However, I'm just tired of everyone talking about it and just want the game to be done. It's almost like at points the build up takes on as much importance as the game for some folks, and as such, those of us that don't have a side to follow just sit on the sidelines. I know people have been saying to pick a side and root, but I just can't, and don't really want to. I already have enough teams that I follow religiously that keep my attention, from my Timbers to West Ham to a renewed love for my flaming horseheads. I love Portland, and want the best for the city and state, so really does it matter who wins? Well, apparently to some, it's the game for the right to live in the state.

 

But for rivalries, this is the most friendly vicious rivalry about. I've seen Ducks rooting for Beavers at points, and it goes vice versa, and I think that's something you see in this rivalry that you don't in others. For one to two weeks a year, the sides can torment each other like any other good natured battle, but for the rest of the time, both sides revel in the success of the other because it makes everyone look better. Face it, I will never root for the Timbers main rival under any circumstances, and there's no situation where that would change because I support who I support. You wouldn't travel to England and see a Hammers fan suddenly rooting for Arsenal because they wanted them to do well. It doesn't work like that.

 

But that's one of the things that makes this part of the world great except for Civil War week, as it suddenly becomes just like a lot of other places where the noise and chatter are just like anything else. Where else could you live where the talk of this game is drowning out talk of Tiger and his transgressions? One of the world's most famous athletes has apparently had an affair and it's the buzz of the interwebs except for this part of the world.

 

And why not? It's a compelling story of a rather strange auto accident that led to him getting injured and his wife saving him that became a possible domestic dispute to now admission of guilt. Woods has followed a near meticulous approach in controlling facts and information with the media to the point that for someone this famous, we really don't know much about him. I can imagine being this big and in demand, you want to be in control of things as much as you can, and there's dozens of stories of famous people who bared a lot out to the press and it blew up in their face. I can see following the reverse approach of controlling everything, even the most minute details, but at some point, simple human nature will rear its head. People make mistakes or things get too big and suddenly things take on a life of their own, and putting the issue back in the box becomes nearly impossible. I can't imagine living up to the scrutiny of the press when doing anything in public, but then compound that with then trying to control what does and doesn't get discussed, and I don't think anyone could live up to that standard for so long.

 

I get the lucky part of my mistakes not being played and replayed over and over again, and I can apologize for those I've wronged and try to learn from what I do without a chorus of talking heads beating the mistakes into the ground, as most of us do. Athletes and public figures don't get that luxury, and so whatever they do gets put out there for everyone to see. And we talk about it a lot in our desire to learn more about our heroes, a natural curiosity to try and relate, or a selfish ploy to pull people down out of jealosy. We talk about these things to divert us from the things that we deal with in our life, and sometimes it's hard to realize that in doing that, we end up making more out of things that perhaps is there. I don't want to be an apologist for Woods, because he screwed up royally. But then again, we all do, and right now what he needs to repair the damage to his family as best as he can. Tonight, two teams will be battling for a Rose Bowl berth, and one team will go away disappointed because that's how things work. Maybe someone will make a mistake, and suddenly they have to live with the result.

 

Does that mean the world of sports doesn't have importance? Hardly, but what it does remind me of is the times where we all need a dose of perspective. It's diasappointing when your team loses or they aren't playing as well as they should, but that doesn't change the fact that you support them. You can't enjoy the good times without suffering through the bad times, the losses, the uncertainty, and that's part of the human experience. Challenges make us stronger, even if we don't immediately realize that when things happen. Life doesn't slow down much, and it doesn't give us challenges that we can't handle, and honestly, I've learned more from the crap life has given me than the happy things because adversity makes you realize what you like and what you don't. Granted, I probably desire the quiet time simply to allow me to catch my breath, but at the same point, challenges get your blood flowing a bit and keep us engaged. And last time I checked, there really wasn't such a thing as a quietly fulfilling challenge.

 

So I'll do what I do by breaking down the pieces and putting them in as simple of terms as I can to process them, and realize that the good things are worth the effort. Granted at points it's hard to see the forest for the trees or remenber what the end result will bring us, but part of being human is to dream, to grow, and to aspire, and those things bring success and failure. And we all need to learn how to deal with those emotions, because I don't see life changing anytime soon.

Obligatory Thankful For Column

Thanksgiving is the most forgotten of the major holidays in my opinion. New Year's gets attention because we are either obsessed with getting our year off to a good start or trying to blow off the stink of a crummy year, and it's a great excuse to dress up and drink your problems away for a night. Memorial Day is the first major summer holiday, and there's plenty of camping opportunities and blockbuster movies that open that weekend. Oh, and there's that other reason to remember the day, which is extremely important yet often overlooked depending on how you feel about the military. The Fourth of July celebrates patriotism by blowing up small portions of real estate, while Labor Day celebrates working by giving you a day off work.

 

We then cruise into Halloween, which has become a major player with parties and costumes, and then afterwards the malls go into hyper mode for Christmas and shopping. I get why they do it, as most retailers make up to half their business during the last months of the year during holiday sales, but Thanksgiving ends up being trampled in the process. We don't have a lot of thanksgiving songs to sing, there's really only one good Thanksgiving special (Charlie Brown making toast still makes me laugh), and the day becomes about eating massive quantities while passing out in front of the television.

 

Granted, I think part of my issue is that Thanksgiving for me was never a big holiday in my family. We often spent the day with my stepdad's family, which was always an interesting sight. They hated pointyball, would play odd card games and the kids hardly got included, and it's about the only time the entire family would get together, which surprised me. When I left for college, I wasn't able to travel home, so often times, I was stuck at college hanging out with others who didn't have a place to go, and honestly, Dominos Pizza has never tasted so good on a holiday when you couldn't get the turkey to cook right. As I moved to Portland, Thanksgiving turned into a day from work, and I floated between friend's home as a guest, which while is good to have a place to go, I always felt a bit odd infringing on family celebrations where I wasn't part of the family. Things changed when I met girl and I gained a whole new family. They are super folks, and I see them a lot, which took a bit of time to get used to.

 

Granted, a lot of families work like that, but outside of my mom, stepdad and sister, I rarely saw my other family members more than maybe once a year, or sometimes longer. It does give you a sense at times of being by yourself, but at the same point, I always knew that if I asked for anything, my family would step up. It just always felt unusual to have that sense of family when you just don't see folks that often, but as the saying goes, "You pick your friends, you don't pick your family." I think for a lot of us, we see our family as people we need to relate to because that's what they do, and so you put up with a lot more than you would from your friends in an attempt to keep things together. Some of the things my family has done to each other would cause me to disown friends, but with family, the tolerance is a bit more.

 

I don't know why that is, but for some of us, it's hard to say the things we need to our family because we're afraid of what they might think or how they might react, and to keep the peace, you just let things slide. It's been my mode of operation for years, and I'm very good at it. Which is really bad for those around me when I really need to say things, because I'm used to trying to keep the peace. It was what I was always thankful for, a quiet, nice gathering of family that didn't end up with one of us pissed off at somebody else for some stupid reason which would then cause chaos for the day.

 

Now that I'm trying to work on being more aware of how I react to things, I realize that Thanksgiving has a more important purpose to remember what we should be thankful for. And as predictably cheesy as it is to say we should always remember that every day, we just don't. The world has lots of shiny distractions, pressures and stressors, diversions and widgets, and bamboozles and blitzches, and so we don't often think of how important certain people are. I've learned that not only do I need to say how much I appreciate certain folks in my life, but show them as much as I can how much I care. Sometimes, it's the little things that matter the most, and I admit that sometimes the big picture has been more distracting.

 

But having this realization makes me really appreciate the things and people I have around me. I couldn't do what I do without girl's unwavering love and support, even though I drive her completely nuts most of the time. She gives me so much, and I am so grateful she is in my life. I'm also thankful that I fell into a collection of football fans like the Timbers Army, who have been some of the most accepting, wonderful, irritating, and best people that I could ever count as friends. Finding a home in a place like Row N with my friends has really helped me find myself, and I won't forget what those fine folks have given to me. We always have a celebration of friends Thanksgiving weekend, and I'm really looking forward to spending time with this bunch, because I not only view it as a time to gather, but for me now, it's a chance to celebrate the wonderful gift of friendship amongst these great folks. Well, and celebrate our hatred of clowns.

 

I'm thankful for being able to read some great writers like Bill Simmons, who consistently make me laugh and I hope to one day emulate in my writing if I can only get my wit and charm down well. Seriously, I've never laughed so hard at the repeated mentions of Zombie Sonics than I have with his latest column, and Simmons also avoids some of the preachiness and overzealous approach of other columnists I know. I'm also thankful for my CD player and MP3 player, because my wonderful city has become a wasteland of crappy commercial radio that has really stopped caring about listeners. I used to think well of some stations in town, but right now, I can't listen to the music I want to because I'm tired of the over the top self promotion and countless ads about concerts or other things as distraction. If I had to listen to this stuff full time, I think I would lose whatever is left of my sanity.

 

I'm also thankful of the wonderful city I live in, which is an amazing place despite itself at times. Portland seems to be so intent on being weird and unique that I think some folks don't realize that we've already got that character. I've never lived in a place that worships its institutions, rallies around causes, and loves its pets like people around here, and while we may not fundamentally agree on everything, we all agree that this is a very special place and we want to keep it that way. And we will use our money, voices and talents to make sure Portland remains a gem in the Pacific Northwest.

 

I'm also thankful that I can recognize things about myself that I don't like, and work on improving those things so that I can be a better husband, brother and person. Because of my quiet tendancies, I think some people believe that I couldn't possibly be selfish, thoughtless, or inconsiderate, but I can say as a human being, I'm guilty of those things more often than I'd like. We tend to take it out on the ones closest to us, and so I'm working on recognizing that. I also want to make sure that I'm telling people what they should hear from me, instead of keeping quiet and thinking I'll have time to tell them later. What I might say may not be what they want to hear, but at the same time, they deserve to hear my perspective, good or bad.

 

Being a human being is a wonderful gift, and something that we should always appreciate. We have the capacity to do so many things, but we also have the capability to recognize our faults and work on fixing them for the greater good. It's an amazing thing if you can do it, because many of us resist change or think things are good the way they are. But if we aren't looking at ourselves and asking questions about who we are and why we are here, we run the risk of being complacent and we stop growing. And not that I would support a complete and total change for anyone, I would say that it's important to examine yourself from time to time. It's the most compassionate thing we can do for ourselves, and the rewards are priceless.

 

(Sorry for the cheesy marketing ending, but I've been watching too many &(*%*% Black Friday ads. I realized Christmas was for sale, but not this much. Seriously!!)

Happy Thoughts For A Monday

You'd never see an American side do anything like this. Have to admit it's a class move, especially after the result. A lot of sports fans hate soccer because of a lack of scoring, but 9 goals would change some minds rather quickly. Unless it was in the situation that happened Saturday, where Wigan gave up 9 while only scoring 1. The players stepped up to pay for the tickets of those fans brave enough to watch this debacle. It's putting your mouth is, and I'm proud of the players to own up for what happened, whether it was crappy luck, lack of form, or simply the planets aligning in the wrong way. It shows they care, and as a fan who is dealing with a miserable season, sometimes that's enough to buy more time before the bandwagon loses any more fans.

 

The MLS Cup happened yesterday, and Real Salt Lake won in penalties 5 to 4 after drawing at 1 in the regular match and 30 minutes of overtime. I personally hate penalties deciding any match, but I also understand that soccer matches could end up like cricket in terms of time if you actually had to play until a winner was decided. The drama was compelling, though, as both sides had chances to put it away until Robbie Russell finally won it for Real Salt Lake.

 

My thoughts on things:

• Real Salt Lake barely qualified for the playoffs and actually finished with a sub .500 record, but they were the hottest team going into the playoffs, and they used that energy to win 3 tough games to get there. Playoffs to me don't determine a winner for the season, but simply crown the hottest team at the time, which is why any side that can win the regular season title and then win the playoffs is truly one special squad. Not that I want to discount the accomplishment, but the whole situation here makes me want the regular season winner to be declared the champion more of a reality. That rewards a complete body of work, not just a hot streak at a specific timeframe.
• Seattle supported the game well, and it was nice to see many fans show up even if the home side wasn't part of the match. I'm still not a fan of many game day things they do, but putting 46,000 fans in the seats for the championship is an impressive feat.
• It was great to see some former Timbers playing well in the match. Josh Saunders came in late in the match to replace an injured Donovan Ricketts and performed admirably in a rather tough spot. It's tough to enter late as a keeper, much less then face penalty kicks and hold up as well as he did. It would have been nice to see Bryan Jordan enter the match, but at least former OSU Beaver Robbie Findley played well and was a key cog in the RSL attack.

The Civil War is on December 3rd and it's for all the marbles. Or for the Roses, as the annual Duck and Beaver football game will determine the Pac-10 team that will represent the conference in the Rose Bowl. There hasn't been as much at stake in this game, and the usually friendly rivalry will take on more of a fervor over the next few weeks as trash talk elevates itself to higher than usual levels.

 

The Oregon - Oregon State rivalry is one of the most friendly in many respects, as you hear stories about Ducks and Beavers interacting all the time until this week, and then all bets are off. Relatives don't speak to each other before the game, businesses and people start promoting their side, and it's time for those in the state who didn't attend either school to pick a side or just remain neutral if you can. And with the stakes being what they are, the pressure to pick a side will be huge.

 

Myself, I didn't attend either school until I moved here and have attended 3 classes at each college, so I can't choose my allegiance that way. I have dear friends that attended both schools, and based upon that, I can't pick a side much less upsetting one group of friends or the other. The Ducks haven't been there since 1995 and the Beavers haven't been there since the 1960's. I attended a college that doesn't have football, so I can't use that as an excuse, and my wife's alma mater does have football but they seemed to have lost their way. I've always just wished that both teams do well and get into great bowl games so I can watch as a fan, and over the past few years, it's been easy watching their success. And even after this game, both sides will still have good bowl dates.

 

But this year is different, because both teams have a chance at the Roses and that doesn't come up all that often. So for me, I'll try to take the platypus approach, supporting both sides in a hybrid sort of way until I'm forced to make a call. Besides, being Switzerland in a dispute like this isn't so bad, cause you get those cool bank accounts, chocolates and glockenspiels!!

It's All About The Context?

I've seen the videos of Elizabeth Lambert playing soccer for the University of New Mexico against Brigham Young University, and watched the snippets of Lambert mugging, pushing, hitting, and generally abusing opposing Cougar players. If you simply watch her actions taken from the condensed part of the video, you would see an player that seems to be playing like a deranged lunatic and pushing physical play to nearly incomprehensible levels. Some of my friends who are non-soccer fans have seen the video and seem outright shocked that things like that happen on the soccer pitch.

 

If you read Lambert's interview for the New York Times, she even admits that it's tough to watch her actions because she doesn't recognize the person playing out there. The elbowing, the hard tackling, the hair pulling, the tackle from behind, it's all tough to watch even for soccer fans, because taken simply for what is shown in the condensed video, her actions could be labeled as assault. Lambert has been suspended from the Lobos soccer team indefinitely, and she is now working on repairing the damage from her actions. She's talking to people about what happened, she's talking with a psychologist, and working on her mental state so that she can hopefully return to the team next year for her senior season.

 

She appears to be horrified and apologetic about her actions, and trying to make amends as best as possible, realizing that she's crossed a conduct line on the field. There's regret in her words, and I can only imagine what it's like to have your actions put out there for all to see in grand fashion only to realize you've done something truly horrible. It's hard enough for me to look directly at the people I've wronged at points because of the guilt I feel, and I've never done anything close to this in such a public forum. Instead of being a defender on the soccer pitch, Lambert will have to live with the label of being "that girl", "that player" or other horrific names for the rest of her career.

 

Just ask Kermit Washington, Ron Artest or LeGarrette Blount what it's like to live with such a stigma. Washington had a good NBA career and currently works in sports broadcasting, but every time there is a serious transgression on the field of play, you see the footage of Washington striking former player Rudy Tomjanovich during a game. Washington served what was at the time the longest suspension in NBA history for his actions. Artest was central figure in one of the worst scenes in sports, an on court brawl in Detroit when the Indiana Pacers were in town that spilled into the crowd. It was labeled as one of the worst on-court incidents until Blount lost his composure on the smurf turf in Boise, and had his most famous meltdown. Go on the Internet and you can see the incidents up close and personal, and it's hard not to be horrified at what you see. And now Lambert's footage joins the list of incidents above as an indictment of sports and athletic conduct during the match.

 

I've never played sports on that level, so I can't begin to imagine the pressure and stress athletes go through when they are being constantly scrutinized, examined, and compartmentalized. I can imagine that the scrutiny is difficult to live with, which is why many athletes have an adversarial relationship with the media. Everyone seems to be an expert after the fact, saying what should have occurred or what they would have been done if they were in that situation, but imagine if you really were on the court when Artest went berzerk or when Lambert was pulling the opposing players' hair. Could any of us truly say we'd be above such conduct in the heat of the moment, especially if you review the incident in the context of the entire game or season?

 

It's easy to pinpoint one incident and make snap decisions about people, making them live with the consequences of their actions. While they really should live with some of the ramifications of things they do, we also paint ourselves as a society where second chances are readily provided and we like hearing about people that have regained their stature after a rough incident. But those beliefs have to be tempered with some other situations that don't make it always easy to return from the brink.

 

The Internet keeps track of everything most athletes have said or down, so these incidents never really go away but instead they fade until something happens and then they live a new life in comparison. You have the pressure of televisions and cameras being everywhere, catching every moment of events. I've also heard athletes say it's only a penalty if the official catches it, and most of them are extremely competitive in every aspect of their lives. Combine these with the pressure of winning or performing well, and you can see a recipe for one stressed out society which doesn't make things like this easy to deal with. You also can't forget the influence of moral codes, which is a source for argument amongst even the best of friends or family members. Things like this aren't just black and white situations where you can paint a picture and immediately point at a person or situation and say who is to blame. I didn't see the entire game where Lambert melted down, but apparently the game was physical on both sides, but she took it to the extreme in her reaction. Artest was trying to decompress from something that happened on the court and got hit with a drink from the crowd that started the ugliness.

 

This is what I mean by context, because none of us are really able to understand exactly what happened, we simply need to react to the aftermath and try to deal with it as best as we can. Just because these things happen on the sports field doesn't mean that sports are dangerous or bad influences in general, it simply means that as a society, we all deal with pressure and stress and it's up to us to find ways to deal with them without resorting to violence. I admire Lambert for being open to talking about her situation and realizing that while this is a mistake, she's doing all she can to rectify the situation. Washington has done his part to try and resolve his issue, while Blount has been reinstated to the team but sequestered from the media.

 

I'm not sure that's the right approach here, because part of the process of recovery is allowing the person to move away from the mistake and show apology and repentance. Otherwise, you might end up living with the mistake for the rest of your life, and I'm not sure that's the way anyone would want to live. As far as context is concerned, showing your human side is the most important thing we can all do. Now showing my human side, I would really appreciate it if someone could help me get rid of these guys, cause that would make me really happy.

 

 

Sports Really Is a Business, But There's Humanity Involved

I remember crafting a letter to the most recent coaching hire at Portland State, Jerry Glanville, when he was first hired as football coach. As a member of the Timbers Army, I was contacting him about PGE Park to welcome him to town and ask for help to update the turf at the stadium. Unfortunately, my letter went unanswered, which I wasn't all that surprised about. The Army wasn't nearly the influence it was then, and MLS was just a pipe dream.

 

Fast forward to today, and MLS is on the fast track, and Glanville is now the former coach of Portland State as he resigned today. Granted, his performance warranted some concern, as he won a grand total of 9 games in three years since taking over. Glanville might be a great guy and has football knowledge, as his resume is filled with NFL experience, college programs, and some success along the way. But he could never recover from the loss of his offensive coordinator, Mouse Davis, during the offseason, and could never gather enough talent to be competitive in the Big Sky. It seemed like the team is a bit in disarray, but after watching them against Weber State, the team never quit and kept trying to right the ship.

 

Glanville could tell some great stories about his past football exploits, and he gave up part of his coaching salary to help cover some salary loss for his assistants. He was extremely generous to the citizens of the city, giving sandwiches to the homeless and getting involved with other philanthropic projects about town, and he garned lots of attention for the program. When he was first hired, the attendance spiked and there was a huge buzz around the program, but in the end, Glanville couldn't keep the momentum as the losses piled up.

 

It's a challenge to be successful at a commuter school that is trying to improve its athletic profile. Portland State is the largest university in Oregon and was a Division II football power in its past, yet they've virtually been ignored in the profile of colleges in the area. Oregon and Oregon State cast a huge shadow over the state in academics and athletics, and as such, it's hard to gain traction when you are running uphill against the Ducks and Beavers. PSU has worked hard to get the word out on their school and successes, and I think they are gaining in some respects. It seems that the alumni are paying more attention and getting involved, while the student body has also been engaged more than they have, but there's still work to be done.

 

Portland State has always harbored dreams of competing with the big boys, and the thing is the foundation is here. Portland is a large media market and has lots of PSU alumni about, and the school is putting money into their programs to gain some traction on the field while improving academic programs. It's a tough and competitive world out there to get the attention of young people to invest their money and time into going to college there, but they are making strides. My hope is that the athletic department hires a coach that has the energy and passion to push the profile up further, so that Portland State isn't such an afterthought in some conversations.

 

The other big news is that Trail Blazers and Seahawks owner Paul Allen was diagnosed with lymphoma and will be undergoing treatment. Because I've dealt with the ravages of cancer in my family, I have a lot of experience in dealing with the various emotions that this condition bring forward. I went to visit my mom because she was ill and within a week, she was gone. It was one of the worst things I've ever dealt with, and it still rings with me to this day. You never get to the point where you are really completely OK with what happened, but you learn to deal with the death of someone by cancer by just managing it. I'm still reminded of things she said and did, and I'm shocked at how often I think about things and get a little emotional.

 

That being said, when I heard the news, I was able to put a more personal spin on things than most. In reading the comments on blogs and on sports radio, people have been freaking out about the long term harm to the Trail Blazers and what happens if Allen isn't able to beat this disease. Granted, those things are concerns, but right now, this situation isn't about a guy who has more individual wealth than most of us will ever see in our life. It's isn't about an intensely private guy who shows himself in little glimpses supporting his sports teams, nor is it about a guy that has been trashed in various avenues for being quiet, aloof, or an accidental success.

 

It's about a human being that is dealing with a very real health challenge, and I wish him nothing but the best during his recovery. He's already beaten Hodgkin's disease once, and having the experience of that combined with the support of his family and friends is a huge key, and he'll have access to the best doctors available. The situation is entirely treatable, yet nothing in this is entirely certain. All you can do is what you can do, and I think having distractions will help him in the long term. Now that the team is doing well and faces less uncertainty in its future, I can't help but think that a successful Trail Blazers season will do a lot towards helping Allen in his recovery.

 

I've personally had issues with the Trail Blazers organization and many of their decisions about the Memorial Coliseum, questionable player decisions, and some of the tactics they use to maintain a monopoly in the sports media around here. But none of that really matters right now, as I'm wishing my best to their owner, who has personally done a lot to keep basketball fans happy for years following their team. It's hard to separate the person from the owner at times likes this, but right now, both of them need support in dealing with the challenges that are forthcoming.