Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Introductory Post

Ok, I'm a bit new to this whole blogging thing, but figured the best place to start is at the beginning and talk a bit about me. In the media, they often do in-depth interviews with pictures and cool graphics. But this isn't big budget, so in order to start this off, I have decided to conduct an interview with me interviewing....me.

Q. Why a blog? Seriously.
A. I felt like I had something important to say, and this site provides me a format to really share my thoughts and ideas. Ok, it's more like I always wanted to do this, and I finally got around to joining.
Q. So what's this blog all about?
A. It's about topics that I know about, or feel I have knowledge and opinions that I'd like to share. It will mostly be about sports, beer, Portland, coffee, and computers, cause if I try to chat about other stuff, I tend to be easily distracted by shiny objects?
Q. Sports?? What could you possibly know about sports?
A. I may not look athletic, but I enjoy playing sports because it's good for the mind and spirit. My school athletic career consisted of two seasons at tackling dummy (also known as offensive line for football), four seasons of warming the bench at hoops, and six seasons of competitive running (track and cross country). Track guys were not thought of as real athletes by the jocks (AKA guys who didn't run) because there was no element of danger. I guess they had never pissed off their coach to the point that we were chased in a golf cart. When college came around, I discovered an unknown love for fast food, salty snacks and beer, so my athletic experience is now more recreational. I do also watch a lot of sports live, and can say I've attended NCAA basketball, the Winter Olympics, World Cup Soccer, MLB, NFL, NBA, WNBA, Indoor Football and WHL games for the past 20 years.
Q. Another fan that's going to yell a lot about their coach is a moron and their best player is a joke. Yea, we haven't heard that before.
A. I can't promise I won't criticize the teams I follow, but I try to be positive as much as I can. Being a Trail Blazers fan since 1987 and through the dark ages of 2002 - 2005, you can live through pretty much any miserable sports experience.
Q. But why look at sports?
A. Sports is as true a form of life as you can find. It has great triumph, tragedy, insanity, stupidity, and a few more nitys that I can't think of, and they could all occur within the same game. Sports bridges people together with common goals like loving a team, throwing remotes at the TV when something stupid happens, and collectively agreeing that whatever dumb move the coach did somehow you would do better if you were in charge.
Q. Ok, what are some of your most unique sporting experiences?
A. Meeting my fiancee at a sporting event. Attending NCAA tournament games, which is nothing like what they show on TV. Seeing the Winter Olympics in Calgary in 1988 before the Olympics became the commercial mess they are today. Running with the 1992 Olympic Torch Run. Watching the Kingdome implode. Crying as my beloved Timbers were knocked out of the playoffs in 2004 by the evil ones. Watching Crash McCray run through a wall, and wondering what the heck just happened to cause the outfielder to disappear.
Q. You met your fiancee at a sporting event?
A. July 2, 2005, a game versus Vancouver. She had posted on the Timbers message board about moving back from England recently, and was looking for fans to help support the local team. I spoke with her briefly that day, and said it was nice to meet you later that night at the bar. Over the next few months, my fear of talking to women compiled with some vibes led us to carry on stilted conversations until after my mom passed away in September that year. She was very nice to me, and we ended up spending time at a Halloween party where she was a cavegirl and I was a cheerleader. A few months later after nervous emails, calling, emailing back and forth, we met up for drinks before a concert. Another date a week later and we kissed for the first time outside my apartment. An 18 hour flight delay at PDX didn't even kill my buzz. We were engaged in August 2006, and we are due to be married in April 2008. You can just call us a couple of crazy soccer folks in love.
Q. Soccer, huh? Some people don't think that's a real sport.
A. It's as much of a real sport as football, basketball, or baseball, as it's just as athletic and demanding as them. However, yes, there isn't much scoring in soccer, and some footy guys seem to turn into folding chairs at the slightest contact. But honestly, it's a beautiful game and when you are crowned a World Cup champ, you are truly the champion of the world not just in name.
Q. Ok, final question. What's with the name of this blog?
A. I love animated shows, and one of my all time favorites is Beavis and Butthead because it was very smart and very stupid at the same time. During one episode where they needed to get a cup for phys ed class, the guy at the sporting goods place could only find eye patches that would fit the boys. After suffering humiliation at being seen in the dressing room with the eye patches, the boys crafted a note to Mr. Buzzcutt that asked him to excuse the boys from P.E. because they didn't have althetic sippotters. Being the maniac he was, Buzzcutt yelled at them "Elementary squat thrusts, NOW!!"

Ok, so this is the beginning. We'll talk to you all soon, and I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy trying to write it to make some sense.

-K